Access to your life is not a given.

If this sounds familiar: ‘but they’re still your family!’, here are some things you may need to hear.

You’re allowed to cut off people that make you feel bad, regardless of who they are.
You’re allowed to allow someone in your life in a way that works for you.
You’re allowed to remove access to your life if boundaries are being ignored.
You’re allowed to miss someone, even if they didn’t treat you well and life is better now.
You’re allowed to grieve a person that’s still alive (but may not have ever existed).

Being privy to information about you is not something that is automatically earned. You do not owe people access to you because they are family.

It’s not ‘you need to forgive them because they are family’. How about we try: ‘being family does not excuse harmful behaviour’.

This doesn’t have to mean holding on to anger or hate or grudges. It can mean moving on and allowing yourself a life without certain people in it. Or it can mean allowing someone to see the real you, without waiting for their approval.

It’s okay to make decisions not everyone understands.